based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
