I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was born a porn star she said
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
