Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
