oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
