I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
