When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
