Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
