So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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