remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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