I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
