So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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