Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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