Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A+ Viking dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
