I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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