1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
