I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
