You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize