I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hippo gnu deer
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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