So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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