I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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