I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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