Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
