dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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