she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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