Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
