There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The feeling are messing with the penis
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
