Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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