I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
