literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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