Nicole vs. Life
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
