standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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