she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
