His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
