Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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