garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
