just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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