What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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