You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
