I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
