Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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