week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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