i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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