i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
