He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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