Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
