Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
