it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
