So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
