whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
