4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
