GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
