Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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